October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Recognizing the Signs of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Community Action, Inc.'s Crossroads Project is encouraging community members to take time during Domestic Violence Awareness Month to reflect on what healthy relationships look like and how to recognize warning signs when something doesn't feel right.

“October is a reminder for all of us to have conversations about respect, safety, and healthy relationships,” said Suella Himes, Director of Crossroads at Community Action, Inc. “Whether it's a friendship, a dating relationship, or a long-term partnership, everyone deserves to feel valued, heard, and safe.”

Domestic violence is not a single incident, but rather a pattern of behaviors used to gain and maintain power and control over another person. According to Himes, warning signs often appear earlier in relationships than many people realize.

“People often believe abuse develops slowly over time, but controlling behaviors can show up very early in friendships and dating relationships,” Himes explained. “Pay attention to how someone treats you, how they respond when they don't get their way, and whether they respect your boundaries. Those actions can reveal a great deal about the health of a relationship.”

Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, communication, and respect. Everyone, regardless of age or gender, deserves to feel safe, valued, and protected both at home and in their personal relationships. Safety extends beyond physical well-being and includes emotional, spiritual, and financial security.

Crossroads encourages individuals to consider the following questions when evaluating a relationship:

· Do I feel unsafe?

· Does my partner control what we do, or are my thoughts and wishes respected?

· Am I free to talk with friends, family, and others?

· Am I being blamed for my partner's struggles, stress, or problems?

· Can I take a private phone call, leave the room, or spend time alone without being questioned or monitored?

· Am I being pressured to do something or go somewhere that makes me uncomfortable?

While answering "yes" to any one of these questions does not automatically indicate an abusive relationship, Himes says those feelings should not be ignored.

“Trust your instincts,” Himes said. “If something doesn't feel right, take time to reflect on those concerns, communicate openly, and observe whether the other person consistently respects your choices and independence. Healthy relationships allow people to be themselves without fear of judgment, intimidation, or control.”

Himes also notes that expecting a partner or friend to fundamentally change who they are can be a sign that additional thought and consideration are needed before moving forward in the relationship.

“No one should feel alone or trapped in an unhealthy relationship,” Himes added. “Help is available. Whether you are seeking information, support, or simply someone to talk to, Crossroads is here to listen and help you explore your options in a safe and confidential environment.”

Individuals who do not feel safe in their home or relationship, or who would like information about available resources, are encouraged to contact someone they trust or call the Crossroads Project Hotline 24/7 at 800-598-3998. Support is confidential, compassionate, and available to anyone seeking guidance or assistance.