Local Advocate Highlights Challenges Survivors Face When Leaving Abusive Relationships

A woman who endured years of domestic violence, threats, and intimidation is now living safely and rebuilding her life after receiving support through Crossroads, a project of Community Action, Inc., but advocates say her journey underscores why leaving an abusive relationship is often far more complicated than many people realize.

According to Suella Himes, Director of Crossroads, the woman first reached out through the 24/7 domestic violence hotline while desperately seeking help and trying to understand what options were available to protect herself and her children from an abusive partner.

At the time, fear and intimidation made it difficult for her to take immediate action.

"Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely a simple decision," Himes said. "For many survivors, safety planning and building the confidence to leave takes time."

Advocates said the woman's abuser repeatedly manipulated and gaslighted her throughout the relationship. He also threatened to take their children away if she attempted to leave or seek assistance. Those threats left her in constant fear for both her own safety and the safety of her children.

Whenever she attempted to reach out for help, the abuser responded with additional threats, making the decision to pursue a Protection From Abuse order, commonly known as a PFA, especially difficult and stressful.

For many survivors, Himes said, barriers extend well beyond fear. Financial dependence, disability, lack of transportation, limited employment opportunities, housing concerns, isolation from family and friends, and fear of retaliation often prevent victims from leaving dangerous situations.

"People often ask why someone doesn't just leave," Himes said. "The reality is that survivors face tremendous obstacles. Many are weighing the risks to their safety, the safety of their children, their housing, finances, and other basic needs."

Advocates also emphasize that leaving an abusive relationship can be the most dangerous time for a victim, as abusers may escalate threats or violence when they perceive they are losing control.

Despite those challenges, the woman continued working with advocates until she felt ready to move forward. Once she made that decision, Crossroads staff supported her throughout the PFA process and connected her with legal aid services and other available resources.

The assistance helped her secure protection and begin rebuilding her life.

Today, her circumstances look dramatically different. She and her children remain together and safe. She has started a new chapter, established a healthy relationship, and found stability after years of living under the threat of abuse.

Advocates say her experience illustrates the importance of patience, support, and access to legal and community resources for survivors of domestic violence.

"Every survivor's journey is different," Himes said. "Sometimes the most important thing we can do is provide information, encouragement, and support until someone is ready to take the next step toward safety."

Himes said the woman's success story serves as a powerful reminder that leaving an abusive relationship often takes courage, time, and a network of support. While the process can be overwhelming and complex, she wants survivors to know that help is available.

"No one should face that journey alone," Himes said.

Crossroads advocates encourage anyone experiencing domestic violence to seek assistance, reminding survivors that safety planning, legal protection, and supportive services can help them move toward a safer and more hopeful future.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-598-3998 or email dvcontact@jccap.org for confidential support, safety planning, information, and resources.

Domestic violence affects individuals, families, and communities. To learn more about domestic violence, healthy relationships, warning signs of abuse, and ways you can support survivors, contact dvcontact@jccap.org or reach out to (814) 938-3580 or (814) 371-1223. Together, we can build a safer, more informed, and supportive community.